from winter to spring

This would be note to always remind myself over my determination... I don't want to forget this and therefore, I am writing this...

Waking up as early as 6am in the morning is definitely so not me if you know me well enough. Many would be surprise to find me awake so early because unless I am extremely motivated looking forward to something that awaits, or I am burning the midnight oil, I would have slept through the countless numbers of alarm clocks.

With two days remaining, this would probably be the EARLIEST day I've gotten up in the past 20 odd days of my holiday back here! Anyhow, happily I put on the dress I've picked for the day. Since I am leaving already, I've picked all the dresses in which I wanted to wear for the next two days! After 20 odd days, I am only dressing up now! :)

There are some bothering thoughts but since I got up so early, I really want to be happy and make the best out of my day today. After my dental appointment which I've been dreading all along, my brother and I had to find some ways to kill all the time we had to before we could dine in this nice dining place, overlooking the most beautiful view in the heart of the city!

While he was walking around in the bookstore,this time nothing interest me at all. So I've decided to resume to my comfort seat, one of the corners of this bagel shop,to enjoy my music and sing along. Time flies and before I realised, he was standing right in front of me reminding me that it's time to go. We successfully killed 2 freaking hours!!!

Lunch wasn't good because the service was too disappointing. After that, we walked to a bigger shopping complex, another shopping haven! We went to the bookstore, again! I know life isn't all about books so I went to my favourite corner :) Hallmark! Seriously I dont know what I was doing the entire time. I walked every corner of the place for the next two hours trying to distract myself from all the self reflection and I really needed. Until the point when I realised it was probably my 3rd time walking past Memory Lane, I nearly got myself a few soft toys!

Nevertheless, when I finally decided to take a rest, I sat there quietly reflecting on my priorities over all my concerns. It wasn't easy because all the time, I knew I was avoiding thinking about it while I could still be here to enjoy a bit more. It didn't take very long to know what my foremost priority for the next one year would be... July 2010. I know I will definitely hit the bull's eye this time. If you want to know, you will, in 2010! :)

*the end*

As for now, (#1) staying focus, is the most important thing. No matter how tough this might be, regardless of all the sacrifices that may seem unworthy now, nothing is more important than confidently pursuing this dream of mine. Like it or not, I've got no control over how all these friendships are gonna change in the next 13 weeks. Thus, (#2) to not fear the unknown by courageously embracing changes as positive inspiration is as important.

Saying these is so much easier than doing! I might be really struggling but suffering is optional. :)

"True and lasting happiness only and always comes from our own efforts, our own wisdom, our own good fortune. This is a fundamental truth. Faith is the key to strengthening our efforts, wisdom and good fortune; SGI activities are the key to strengthening ourselves."

I'll always remember this one encouragement which has got me into all these thinking. For I believe, and I will paint, this winter, to be another beautiful masterpiece of my very own. :)